turning a corner

so it's been quite a while since i've posted anything new here. i suppose i'm still getting used to a blog culture. and how my little thoughts & musings can possibly be important.

still, i prefer to get my thoughts out ... i need to write about things so i can fully appreciate their meaning. i analyze my own data that way.

it seems i have come to yet another fork in my road ... this road that has held so many surprises. and, for possibly the first time, i am asking myself, "what do i want?" i am feeling, again, that it's time to put me first.

maybe that's selfish ... maybe that's hurtful ... and maybe it's a fairy tale.

knowing myself as i do, and i have known myself as long as i can remember, i will not be able to put myself first. it is easier for me to concentrate on the other people in my life ... worry about family, the kids, friends, ex's, co-workers, colleagues, etc, etc, etc. but as i am standing at this fork, right now, at this very moment, i want to concentrate on me.

the trouble is ... which direction will that lead me?

in honor of my mother's birthday

my mother died on june 4, 2008. but that is not the day i choose to honor her.

my mother was born on august 26, 1943. and that is the hardest day of the year for me now.

just this past school year, my daughter was given this assignment -
"i loved my friend:
he went away from me.
there's nothing more to say.
soft as it began -
i loved my friend.
langston hughes
have you or anyone special to you, gone away? Who left? Where did that someone go? why
did you, or she, or he leave? write a composition telling about it"

this is what she wrote -
"Gran, my grandmother, was a very nice lady. She had two cats their names were BooBoo and Lily. She lived with my Uncle Chris. Gran was funny too, she was funny because when she ran out of food she would say "Uncle Chris did you eat everything?" It would make me laugh. But sadly she died. She got very sick. Gran was 60 something. She fainted in the bathroom. Mom called the hospital. When the hospital people came, my brothers, my mom and I had to wait in Gran's room. I was waiting, wondering and hoping that she would be alright. Eventually, Gran died, but she is happier now because she is with Pop, my granddad. Gran and Pop are watching me from heaven. I love you, Gran!"

and that is why i prefer to honor my mother's life, not her death.

best things to do if you're feeling like a grinch

guess i am just feeling the need to believe in the goodness of people right now. with a very busy & difficult holiday season on the way, we all need to believe in goodness ... you better be good for goodness sake!!! absolutely.

here are some things i would recommend for really getting yourself into the holiday spirit:

• watch "it's a wonderful life" (with an entire box of tissues)
• buy a small random gift & leave it on a neighbor's doorstep
• make donations or plant trees as your friends' gifts
• sit on santa's lap
• sing carols at the top of your lungs while stopped at a red light
• write a letter to santa & include the really important christmas wishes
• change the ringtone & ringback on your phone to something holiday-y
• create holiday playlists
• cut out paper snowflakes & decorate your office
• bake cookies, brownies, breads, anything to share with friends & family
• be sure to send cards ... ecards or snail mail ... either will make someone smile today
• hold the door open for someone ... especially if he/she is carrying lots of packages or bags
• remember to say "bless you" when someone sneezes ... even if they don't acknowledge it
• drink hot chocolate by a fireplace

helping a friend

that's what random acts of kindness is all about, isn't it? helping someone ... anyone ... a friend or a stranger ... just being thoughtful enough to do SOMETHING.
last week, i found out that a friend from high school and elementary school was very badly injured after a hit & run accident the night after thanksgiving ... and since then, his facebook page had been lit up with prayers & well wishes & hopeful thoughts ... people have joined together in just over a week to create an amazing fundraising event & hand out flyers to try to find out who could have done it ... who can hit someone & just drive away???
amazing the dicotomy of human beings, isn't it?!?!
so if you haven't heard about this tragedy, the man's name is brian hickey, a 1991 graduate of haddon township high school in new jersey ... he was living in philadelphia with his wife ... a freelance writer and constant friend ... he was hit while walking back to the speedline from a local pub where he had met some old friends for a mini-reunion, about a block from the collingswood patco station, around 10:15 pm.
so now it is your turn to do something to help ... if anyone knows anything, if any local mechanic or car shop has had a car in very recently with new damage, if it was you .... please call collingswood police & do the right thing.
as a freelance writer, brian has a lot of friends who are much more eloquent than i, and if you search his name, i am sure you will find many other articles, memories, thoughts, blogs about this story .... all it takes is one random act of kindness to rescue someone from despair.

so i'm new to this

hi there,
the title says it all ... never tried this before & i don't know if any of this will be interesting to anyone else but i decided to give it a try. i like to explore new territories so ...........

i'm also trying to reach out to new folks oh behalf of the Absecon Lighthouse so lighthouse lovers, get in touch!!!!! the Absecon Lighthouse is in Atlantic City, NJ and it is the tallest in the state, the third tallest in the country. this time of the year, we are open thursday through monday from 11 am to 4 pm, with the last climb of the lighthouse tower available at 3:30 pm. along with the historic tower, we also have a small museum, gift shop and timeline/fresnel lens exhibit in our original oil house. the first order fresnel lens that was built for our lighthouse is still in place at the top of the tower and although we are now de-commissioned, we turn our light on every night at sundown. thanks to our amazing lens, our light can be seen up to 19 nautical miles out at sea.

so please find the time to visit our 152-year-old lighthouse and reproduced Keeper's House!!! it is a wonderful historic site in the middle of the glitz of a very modern city!!!